Whenever people accuse me of being judgmental, my first response is to totally, completely, 100% deny it. Me? Judgmental? Never! But then when I sit down and actually think about it, I realize that they are totally, completely, 100% right. This, however, is not a bad thing.
The term judgmental has a very bad connotation. I feel like people imagine a judgmental person to be someone who sits in the cafeteria at school, making fun of everyone’s outfits and makeup choices. This person thinks he or she is better than everyone else and is mean-spirited. While this sometimes obviously can be the case, this is not how I perceive “being judgmental.”
For me, I am constantly judging people. The second you say hi to me and introduce yourself, I am judging you. But not in the way you might think…
I am listening to the way you talk and what you have to say. I am looking at your outfit and trying to identify your beliefs and values. I am deciphering your thoughts and I am trying to understand you. This isn’t to be malicious in any way, nor is it to make fun of anyone. Simply put, I am trying to see if I can relate to each person I meet, and if I would want to potentially be friends with said person.
I feel like every single person does this, but the reason I come off as so “judgmental” is because I am selective and have high standards and morals. It’s not that I care if someone has different values or doesn’t share the same beliefs as me; it’s that I just don’t want to be associated with that person.
So yes, I am judging people all the time. Each and every minute of my life. Judging, in my opinion, is human nature. Acting on those judgments, such as making fun of or excluding people, is not. The next time someone accuses me of being judgmental, I will proudly accept that accusation because I know it’s true. And then I will tell that person that he or she is, too. Each and every day of his or her life. It’s only natural!